alexethymia – Adventures of an Earthborn Alien

The main reason I stopped drinking at 27

My story has always been that I don’t like the taste, but now that I know I’m autistic, as well as, well…when I say a diagnosis, it is a symbol that triggers the opening of a mental room and the characters of me that live in those rooms. I have not been officially diagnosed withContinue reading “The main reason I stopped drinking at 27”

Control, relationships, and bipolar symptoms, oh my.

On November 28 I told a friend I was irrationally angry with a close friend, but my meds were working so I wasn’t ready to end the relationship, yet. So was that the paranoia building up in the manic/hypomanic episode? I recognized my anger was irrational, but I couldn’t dissolve it. Because I felt shutContinue reading “Control, relationships, and bipolar symptoms, oh my.”

I haven’t slept yet.

When I was 6, my sister was traumatized by a clown at the birthday party I shared with my one year old brother, just before we moved away from California to Little Rock, AR, where I remember having one friend I used to walk around the military housing with, in ’87. Then we moved notContinue reading “I haven’t slept yet.”

How I Let Go and Let God

My mother died when I was 12, and Dad dated a psychic after she died. That psychic foresaw me becoming a writer and a tarot reader. And my 13 year old brain accepted the program. My suffering meant something. I was going to help people tell their stories, and share mine so others wouldn’t feelContinue reading “How I Let Go and Let God”

I wish I could have explained what I meant to my Dad before he passed.

2020 broke my brain enough even my PCP could see I was autistic and needed help. 2021 broke my heart. I had to face my internal biases, my fears, my shame, my behavior, and figure myself out so I could change. But I can’t change the way my brain developed. I also couldn’t tell thatContinue reading “I wish I could have explained what I meant to my Dad before he passed.”