Ash of Earth

Show, Don’t Tell.

Did you know China restricts TikTok to show children only educational material? Is that true? I could look it up. I just learned that I didn’t understand what woke meant. I do now. Because a friend I adore, with whom I jumped on a trampoline in my bedroom just a week or two ago, sharedContinue reading “Show, Don’t Tell.”

Just Like My Mother, After All.

Picture it: Roanoke Memorial Hospital. May 9th 1981. It’s a Tuesday morning in the Southwestern Virginia valley town. A 19 year old holds her baby girl for the first time, after three days of agonizing, exhausting, medically hindered and then “vacuum-assisted” delivery of the 9 pound, 15 ounce bundle. A ray of sunlight falls onContinue reading “Just Like My Mother, After All.”

On Jan 6, 1985 My Father Shot My Mother and Today…

…today I’m reading about the parents of the survivors of the Uvalde massacre, while my children play outside. https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/21/us/uvalde-one-year-on-moms-watch-breach-videos-tws/index.html The article is hard, but the images are only of survivors. In 1985, my father had a handgun his older sister sold to him, when she encouraged him to shoot his much younger wife for cheatingContinue reading “On Jan 6, 1985 My Father Shot My Mother and Today…”

Love makes life beautiful.

I got too attached to writing the perfect Mother’s Day post, so it’s now a draft I’ll return to later. Now, I want to talk about the struggle to parent respectfully in a culture that delights in disrespecting children and punishing them for their developmentally appropriate behavior. But that sounds like a lot of work.Continue reading “Love makes life beautiful.”

In exploring my family history, I better understand myself.

As it turns out, my aunt had to work when her big sister went into labor with me. My grandmother attended my mother in the hospital. She and my mother have both passed now. My grandmother married a dairy farmer in the late 50s in Maryland. Mom was their first child, followed by twins twoContinue reading “In exploring my family history, I better understand myself.”

Empathy and Disability and Boundaries, oh my.

I’ve been “blogging” on Facebook instead of doing my morning pages, like I feel I should. Should is a terrible word. Louis Hay says in You Can Heal Your Life to turn “should,” which implies a wrong, into “could,” which implies possibility. If a word implies wrongness, we say it has a negative connotation, orContinue reading “Empathy and Disability and Boundaries, oh my.”

Gentle Discipline and the PTSD Demon

2020 was a monstrous year for this mommy. I couldn’t stop screaming at the kids. I couldn’t calm down. I couldn’t pause and think. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t stop crying. I lost 160 pounds in eight months, and my psychiatrist didn’t notice…but that’s a rant for another day. In that stateContinue reading “Gentle Discipline and the PTSD Demon”

How Having Friends Saved My Life, 3/13/2023 edition

I want to change the environment to support the needs of everyone, instead of placing the burden of being unseen on those of us with behavioral symptoms of our neurological differences. I am 42, with pink and purple hair and I sing and dance in the grocery store aisle – not too much, not tooContinue reading “How Having Friends Saved My Life, 3/13/2023 edition”

I figured out what book I most need to write today.

42 years ago right now, 699 miles north of my current home, my 19 year old mother labored for me in the same hospital in which her mother had delivered her: Roanoke Memorial Hospital in Roanoke, Virginia. I wondered if her sister was there, if her mother was. I’ve given birth; now I want toContinue reading “I figured out what book I most need to write today.”

Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything?

This is it. My first blog post. The pressure! I relieve it with levity. This is my space. I can do no wrong here. So there is no punishment to fear. And no fear to block my flow of creative expression. This blog is a conversation with all the pieces of me I’ve held onto,Continue reading “Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything?”