Writing a poem to work out my feelings, but with the skills of a rusty MFA

I’m sorry I acted like my heart was broken open and I was bleeding out

When you left and refused communication with me

I died

I broke again

And I put myself back together by raging at you

Taking you out of my heart so you couldn’t hurt it more

But I kept the hurt, to protect me

I kept the wound open, to protect me

Once our people used leeches and blades to heal our bodies by bloodletting

Bled out their humours and poisons

Most of the ill died from the treatment

And in 2023 my 42 year old ass still acts like a hurting child,

Lashing out when my heart is broken

Why should I say sorry when I’m the one hurting?

I am hurting!

If I blame you, only you can fix it.

If I stop assigning blame,

decide I want peace instead of battling,

decide I want love, and I will hold the love in my heart

The pain, I’m letting it go

I’m getting back in flow

And I can see clearly now

Coming out of the dark space I hid my light

I’m no longer afraid to shine

I love me exactly as I am

And you too

This is me.