Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything?

This is it.

My first blog post.

The pressure!

I relieve it with levity.

This is my space. I can do no wrong here.

So there is no punishment to fear.

And no fear to block my flow of creative expression.

This blog is a conversation with all the pieces of me I’ve held onto, that, with the input and responses of people who are not me, I am forming into my new understanding of self.

I am creating myself from the ashes of all the versions of myself I could never live up to.

And you are creating me too, with every interaction and avoidance.

That’s the nature of reality, everything unique, everything connected, everything one big mess of glorious chaos, given order by patterns and perspective.

Music is the interplay between tension and release.

Earthborn Aliens like me, we’re voracious learners.

We love weirdness. We love exploring. We love experiencing with all of our senses, as long as we are comfortable and safe.

Discomfort, we hates it! We numb ourselves to it, distract ourselves from it, avoid it, ignore it…but eventually we have to face it, learn from it, and grow.

In three days I will be 42.

My Earth Mother died at 32. My Earth Father died at 41.

42 has been an age my little heart never expected to meet.

When my caregivers locked me in the garage or a closet or outside with a throbbing ass and migraine during one of my fits, I would tell myself, “when I grow up I’ll write my stories and people will learn and they’ll stop hurting each other and me.”

I guess 42 is grown up enough to get started.